Happy Birthday!
Posted by Zach

Happy Birthday, Matt!

Donate To WFMU!
Posted by Matt

WFMU's having a fund-drive this week and Eye Rocket's excited to help out. Listen closely and you might win one of three copies of Todd's that we donated to the station. Check it out!

Wait, Isn't That Meg White?
Posted by Matt

During the last "Eye Rocket Meeting", i.e. 45-minute conversation comparing Amanda Lear to Amanda Lapore, I tricked Zach. I asked him for his opinion on whether or not it was really Meg White in the Meg White Sex Tape Video that started circulating last year. Obviously, it's not Meg White, but I just did this so I could get a photo of him watching porn. Here you go!

Now I'm scared that I'm going to find a picture of me on the blog pooping into a cup or something. Payback's a bitch! And Zach's a pro!

Bad News For Barbara
Posted by Matt

I was glad to hear the Department of Defense overturned the media ban on pictures of soldiers' coffins. Lena reminded me of this Barbara Bush quote: "Why should we hear about body bags and deaths," Barbara Bush said on ABC's "Good Morning America" on March 18, 2003. "Oh, I mean, it's not relevant. So why should I waste my beautiful mind on something like that?"

Sorry, Babs. Witch.

Sorry Dudes
Posted by Matt

The blog's been down. I got sick again. I was in bed pretty much all week. I'm starting to feel better though. Last night was fun. Lena and I watched the Oscars with Josh and JR. We were gabbing it up as JR did his live Oscar Facebook updates--his thoughts on every Oscar recipient's dress and acceptance speech. Stuff like, "Wait--isn't Cuba Gooding Jr dead?!" Lena got mad when we trashed Reese. I won a Chipolte from Zach when Heath Ledger won. And Josh about freaked out when Sophia Loren presented the award for best actress. During Herzog's video presentation for best documentary, JR showed us this gem:

You Tube: The Joe O'Brien Picks PT 2
Posted by Matt

Posted by Matt

Posted by Matt

Joe's got two hot new boyfriends. He likes to get them in the same room and play the jealousy card. Dog on the left, I've got a secret for you: HE'S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU!

There was an opening party at a new bar in Pilsen called Simone's.

There's lots of video game memorabilia on the walls.

Here's a pinball machine. Are there actual video games that you can play at Simone's? I can't remember.

And here's what happens when you have an open bar.... This is only at like 8:30 pm.

If you party in Pilsen, you sleep on a couch in Pilsen.

Posted by Matt

I'm still not believing this story reported in the NY Times this morning. Apparently, NBC News is teaming up with foreign governments to catch unsuspecting "war criminals" in a surprise televised ambush. This new show is, I believe, modeled after "To Catch A Predator," where NBC basically used entrapment to catch sexual predators. If that show wasn't questionable enough, the NBC "news" crew is teaming up directly with foreign governments (forgoing, oh, you know, federal departments and standard international judicial protocol) to catch people like Leopold Munyakazi, a french professor at Goucher whom the Rwandan government claims participated in genocide.

Obviously, I have no way of knowing if these claims or bogus or not. I do know, however, that Rwanda is a country divided into different ethnic factions and that the ruling government has already tried over 100,000 people in the last three years for suspicion of genocide. So, Rwanda's motivation is dubious, especially seeing as how they hadn't ever filed a claim with the US government. But, more so, the idea that NBC would ruin people's lives with a televised witch hunt is outrageous. For what? Ratings? Advertising revenue? Also think about the logistics of the show: they HAVE to find people. Because NBC has invested millions in the show and it's already slotted for Prime Time. You can't just air inconclusive evidence.

Yowsa. This show needs to be canceled IMMEDIATELY. If anyone sees petitions go up on the web, please drop me a line. This is USA 2009. Not USA 2003. Get that straight NBC.

You Tube: The Joe O'Brien Picks PT 1
Posted by Matt

Joe and I had a mammoth internet chat this weekend and we shared all our favorite youtube picks. I'll be presenting his favorites on the blog all week. Here's part one. It's a classic.

Weekend Out
Posted by Matt

It started at Spring World in Chinatown....

And it ended at The Baton's Drag Queen Revue...

And in between we saw JR...

OK. Excited, yet? Here's how it goes....

Lena and I were so sad about the crappy meal we got in Chinatown on Thursday, we went back the next night to set the record straight. We went to my favorite restaurant there Spring World and it was delicious! It was so great that we both cried straight through dinner and the waitress got worried and asked if she should change the channel on the television because Finding Nemo was on. Look at how worried everyone looks over Nemo.

Calvin met up with us and we whizzed over to the Skylark and talked about Finding Nemo for two hours. Turns out that if you spell Nemo backwards it's OMEN. And if you spell Finding backwards it's GNIDNIF. So, there you have it, GNIDNIF OMEN.

SPEAKING OF SPELLING... Saturday we swung by Quimby's for the Unlympics Spelling Bee. Lena got there a bit early and Brian asked if she was ready to S-P-E-L-L. She said Y-E-S. And he said That's A-W-S-M. They had wagers and I placed a little two dollar bet on Lena. And, surprise!, who else was there? None other than Aay! I was like, Aay, are you a good speller? And he says quite calmly, Yes. I am actually a pretty good speller. And in my head I was a little bit like, Sure... OK... Whatever... You're an artist. Artists NEVER know how to spell anything. Lena's gonna smoke you.

So Anne gets things under way...

...and I'm left on my own as Aay and Lena line up with 25 other contestants. There aren't many seats available so Calvin has to sit two rows ahead of me. I fiddle with a Pee Wee Fun Pack I picked up earlier in the day as all the other contestants, let's just call them NOBODIES, spell easy-ass words. Oh yeah, I could have won this thing like in a seconde. No worrys.

I can't spell to save my life and like Aay said, some people just prefer other forms of public embarrassment. E-M-B-A-R-R-A-S-S-M-E-N-T. Yeah right I can get that one without spell check. Ding ding ding. Matt's eliminated. First round.

So Lena and Aay and 26 Nobodies go round after round after round...

You see that? Aay's crumbling under the pressure as he awaits his turn. I'm so nervous that I can barely watch anymore and I look over to the comics that are next to me. Fortunately I'm in my favorite section and I browse through an old classic...

This is the story of a young girl who has lightning farts. Every time she has one of these, a magical vibrator comes out of her butt and grants her three wishes. Her three wishes usually include being pleasured in a million different positions by members of the X-Force. I'd recommend picking it up. It's a classy read.

I look up and NO SMOKE! WHO WON??!!! AAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYY!!!!! Crowd goes crazy.

I am by far the silly one. Aay is an artist that can really spell. I mean he got words that I'd never even heard of right. No joke. Quimby's is so impressed with Aay's performance that Logan and Brian throw Aay his very own party at Tuman's.

It was sick. And I was sicker. I mean the next morning/afternoon/early evening. I had plans to go see My Bloody Valentine 3D that afternoon, but when you're hungover, a 3D movie sounds like punishment.

Fortunately I was better in time to meet up with Zach and Jon for JON'S BIRTHDAY PARTY!!! at the Baton Lounge.

It was really fun. Zach told me that it's been an operating drag bar for over forty years.

I looked around and was like, Really? No way you could tell from the decor.

All the queens got mad at Lena cause she looked so fabulous and she only tipped them with little notes with handwritten beauty secrets.

The queens later realized how good the notes were and they lined up to thank Lena after the show. They'd all had so much surgery on their lips that we couldn't make out a word they were saying. Imagine eight girls in designer clothes, holding Lena's hand and blabbing like Porky Pig or the Tasmanian Devil. It was great. Lena's going to teach a foundation class there next week.

3 DJs, 2 Bands, 1 Puppet Show
Posted by Matt

I was supposed to be locked inside being good and working on a new project, but instead..........

We went to NO COAST to check out a show. Square Spider played some songs.

Then Red Delicious took the stage. She was followed by Lucy Nell's AMAZING puppet show. I'm really kicking myself for not taking any photos. The sets and the stories were so much fun. It only lasted like three minutes, so as soon as I turned to Lena to tell her how much I was enjoying it, the show was over.

Then after a really shitty Chinese meal, we headed over to Big Chicks for the Formerly Known As transgender dance party. Big Chicks might be my favorite bar in Chicago.

Aay was on the wheels of steel. I begged him to play Sparks. He's my Sparks buddy. He's the only other person I know who tried to weasel his way over to London for the 30 concert dates they did two years ago.

Then we hopped over to Berlin, where Joe and Rita were playing records. This was Joe's biggest dream in life, to play records at Berlin, the most awesome sketchy all-night gay club in Chicago. He said it was gonna be a Red Bull-fueled homo mosh pit. But apparently some mean trannie was ruining it by harassing them and telling them that their records sucked and that they needed to start playing Katy Perry and Pussy Cat Dolls.

Rita took out her anger on Joe's butt. He's looking down like that cause he just hocked a loog on that trannie's face.

Actually, no offense to Rita and Joe, but the trannie DID look pretty amazing.

Random Google Search
Posted by Matt

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